By Deborah Yates, Executive Director at S.A.F.E., Inc.

Statistics report that one in five women is a victim of domestic violence.  That means we may work with a victim; sit next to a victim at church; your sister, aunt, niece or friend may be a victim.

How can you tell? How do you recognize a victim of domestic violence? Most victims will experience some or all of the following:

  • bruising, sprains, or injuries that were “accidents”
  • signs of depression such as crying
  • frequent or sudden absences from work, church, family events
  • frequent tardies to work, church, family events
  • receives harassing phone calls while at work, church, family events
  • fear of their partner and references to their partner’s anger
  • isolation from family and friends
  • wears long sleeve clothing even in the summer time
  • insufficient resources to live like income, no access to checking account or credit cards
  • make excuses for his bad behavior

Now that you know what to look for, how do you approach the victim without passing judgement on her or debasing her partner?  With love and concern in your voice, simply tell her that you think you know what is going on and that not only is it against the law it is a sin.  Give her the number to S.A.F.E.  (1-800-527-7233). If you feel comfortable, tell her that you will go with her to meet with the counselor at S.A.F.E. Allow her to leave a bag packed with a changing of clothes, social security cards and birth certificates at your house or in your car.  If you’re a neighbor, devise a signal, such as a blinking front porch light, that let’s you know to call the police.  Lastly, support your friend or relative and be there for her.

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